'She might bring team morale down': Braggart employee denied job position after colleague opposes her nomination

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 11, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

A college student really didn't want to recommend her colleague for a job. As the co-lead of a software research lab, this college student enjoys her job, all except for one specific colleague. 

It's an unfortunate truth that you won't always get along with 100% of your colleagues, but just because you don't care for someone personally, doesn't mean they're not great at their work. However, the OP of this story, u/UsualAd1535, shared that her colleague constantly tries to one-up everyone around her. She's not content to let other people have a moment to shine. Instead, the OP shared examples of this woman bragging so much that it brought her classmates to tears. She writes that a classmate pitched a business idea, only for the colleague to immediately "overshadow his accomplishment" by bragging about her own personal start-up. 

Scroll through the entire story below, then check out these 25 things people really miss from the days before the internet. 

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    via Michael Marsh on Unsplash
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    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - Since we have similar majors, we have similar classes. In every one of them, she does great work, and would talk about how she spends hours perfecting and studying, and would make me and others feel bad about our own work in an almost roundabout way. When she was absent, a classmate of ours confided in us in tears, that she felt inferior in work every time she would talk about her accomplishments. Everyone talked about how they always felt really bad when she talked about her accomplishme
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - Our lab director asked me and my co-lead about her, as she was interested in joining our lab. I felt uneasy, but I warned her that she might bring team morale down. She trusted my word, and denied her a position despite her being a strong applicant. EDIT: Post was a bit vague, so I'll add some examples of what made me and my classmates feel this way.
    via u/UsualAd1535
  • 05
    Font - • One of our classmates successfully managed to get a time to pitch his business idea to the entire university, to which she overshadowed his accomplishment with her own start-up, alluding that he'd fail and that his work wasn't up to par with hers.
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - • When another classmate was getting praised for a design idea in her group, she told others to go with her idea instead because her grade was higher than the other girls. Laughed at someone who was failing design because she thought it was absurd someone would fail an art class, then "offered help" and ghosted him.
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - When my group was trauma- bonding over hard calc exams, she told us that she got 100% on that calc's final and that she was personally congratulated by the professor. (EDIT: the term is actually hardship bonding - I messed up the terminology. Thanks for your corrections!) • "Accidentally" spilled paint all over my design layouts after the professor used my work as an example to improve a section of hers. A lot more.
    via u/UsualAd1535
  • 08
    Font - political_bot Parta pant [1] Info: Is she constantly bragging whenever someone brings up their own accomplishments? Because that's annoying as h and not someone you want to work with. 3.1k Reply Share UsualAd1535 OP. Yes. Someone mentioned that they and their colleagues were going to a pitch to sell their start-up, and amidst everyone congratulating them, she chimed in and said "If you ever need help, I've already made a start up! People fail all them time." and it left a very bad taste w
    via u/political_bot
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    Font - Suitable_Molasses_1 8 So with that, I'm gonna say NTA. You telling the manager that you genuinely believe she would demoralize the team due to the evidence of her past behaviors isn't a behavior, it's you doing what you think is best for the team.
    via u/Suitable_Molasses_1
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    Font - date-ready A Aficionado [12] NTA - As a manager, I have to look at the total impact of a person on a team, not just their own contribution. A high performer who degrades team morale is a recipe for a huge headache. Overall productivity decrease because team morale leads to lower engagement and less communication. That person's personal contribution is completely negated by the negative impact they have on the team. And they can be hard to coach because they know they're the most competent
    via u/date-ready
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    Font - It's like having a super star basketball player who never passes the ball. Sure you'll get some wins, but you destroy the team in the process.
    via u/date-ready
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    Font - UsualAd1535 OP. This is what I had in mind when talking to my director, but since I'm new to "leading", I didn't know if it was my feelings clouding my judgement. Thank you for your insight.
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - oneblackened Parta pant [4] Given the info provided in other comments, I'm going with NTA. She's a braggart and a know-it-all. I know this because I was like that too, and it took getting truly humbled to snap me out of it. It's a truly di ish form of behavior especially when it involves tearing others down.
    via u/oneblackened
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    Font - Plus to be honest, in the real world being a good team player and a good coworker matters a lot more than individual output, within reason. I'll take the person who isn't as good but I enjoy interacting with every single time over the skills-wise stronger candidate who is just insufferable to be around.
    via u/oneblackened
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    Font - Aggravating-Pain9249 Parta ipant [2] ΝΤΑ You gave an opinion. You didn't think she would work well in a team. You have experienced haw she has worked with your classmates. 403 Reply UsualAd1535 OP. Will do. Thanks for your insight!
    via u/Aggravating-Pain9249
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    Font - fuzzybunny216 Parta: ipant [1] Lab director asked your opinion. You shared your opinion. NTA.
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    Font - Anxiousmangos With the specific examples you've given in the comments, NTA. She's being annoying, arrogant, and outright dismissive of others' accomplishments. Yes, this would apply if a man were making these kinds of comments as well. I think you should edit your post to include your examples. Without them, the post is a bit vague, and I can see how other commenters may be interpreting this as insecurity or jealousy.
    via u/Anxiousmangos
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    Font - erie85 Absolutely think your title is misleading. You didn't block her because she is NTA though I better than you, you blocked her because you had prior experience indicating she is difficult to work with, not a team player, not a fit for the kind of culture you want in the team.
    via u/erie85
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    Font - sarabelle2023 Question: are her comments and bragging even true? From the examples I've seen I haven't seen one where you would have concrete prove (that you've said you have) I. Do you know for a fact she has a successful startup? Or that she made 100% on that really hard test? Cause honestly to me it sounds like someone who is jealous of others being more successful then those around her and will do anything to sabotage and make others second guess everything they do to make her look be
    via u/sarabelle2023
  • 20
    Font - NTA. You and others have talked about how she makes them feel and it's not positive. All you told your manager is that it would effect employee moral. Your manager has seen her work and it apparently isn't good enough to out weigh the employee moral problem.
    via u/sarabelle2023
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    Font - UsualAd1535 OP. Hmm. I haven't actually considered if she was lying about her expertise - I never really questioned why she was applying to my lab if she was already running a business, or how she even knew she had the highest grade. Though her calc professor's email is real, that's about the only tangible evidence I've seen. I try not to stress myself out on others like her, honestly.
    via u/UsualAd1535
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    Font - k_eleos I'm going to say NTA because you did simply just state the truth (from your recounting of the scenario) to your employer. However, you're mindset towards the entire situation needs some work. 10 Reply Share UsualAd1535 OP. I see, thank you for your insight. I'm not sure how to improve my mindset, but if you can, I'd like some tips.
    via u/k_eleos

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